So, I cannot sleep and have been sitting here trying to figure out what to do. A lot of thoughts on my mind. Most days I write blog posts and want to just pour out what I am thinking. Then, I have to ask myself if that is a good idea. Too many drafts in my blogroll have gone unpublished and this morning I am just going to type and see what happens.
Yesterday…. Thursday…was okay. Every day this week Aida has asked me if she has one more week before school. Today I had to tell her the number of days. I cannot believe the time is winding down so quickly. It is almost unreal. I really am going to miss her being with me every day but I know it is time for her to grow up. I cannot be selfish. My parents sent me to school and I am just fine. Hmm…. I am still not sure on that one. I am determined to figure out where I went wrong because I know there a glitch somewhere. This wrongness is probably why I cannot go to sleep. I am sleepy… I just do not want to close my eyes.
Every now and I then I find myself wanting to say I miss working.. I miss my job. The truth is that I do not miss it. I liked working because I felt like I was helping provide for my family. I was miserable. Some of that related to the workplace and some not. I am miserable most times and not sure why. I just am… but I do know I need to find something more to do. I have always had these pictures in my mind of me getting out and exploring the city and just taking photos whenever I can…living as free spirited as I can for a few hours a day at least. I cannot do that though. It is not in my DNA. I am precise..I love facts…I need logic…I want things to make sense. That make sense part is probably why I am having this inner struggle right now. There are so many things that I cannot make sense of right now. Things I want and want to do…want to see… and I am not sure why. These things (which I will not name) go against the grain of who I am and what I believe. That makes it hard for me to make sense of it and figure out where these type of feelings came from all of a sudden.
There are so many books I want to read. I got a library card just to read about web design and photography and just cannot find the focus. So many wonderful resources..yet I am not using them to the extent I would like. Maybe one day …. soon. Until then, I thought I would share a couple of photos of Aida. These were edited completely in Adobe Lightroom 5.
Little ladybug was actually chewing on Cheese Puffs and watching Minecraft videos during these photos…lol! (And yes, my mind goes that quickly from one though to thr next.) Thanks for visiting and Happy Friday! [icon name=”icon-smile”]