Creative Avenues

The Fine Print

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Only child for too long? Parenting is tricky.

So, the other day my daughter left school in a not-so-happy disposition. I proceeded to ask the normal questions and when it came to her explaining what was wrong, I was a little bit confused. She told me that she had tried calling a little girl’s name in her class to get her attention, but the girl did not respond. She told me that she wishes she was still new. New? New to what exactly? She wanted to be new at school again. Now… I am not even sure how she equated the need to be new again to this situation. I have seen her trying to get her friends’ attention and sometimes uses this quiet, mousey voice. I mean, I can barely hear her standing right next to her, so I am not sure how she expects someone a few feet away to hear her. Thinking about it again made me come back to something that my husband has said. He says she will have to realize one day that the world does not revolve around her. And.. I agree. No one should think that people should just drop everything and always be ready to give them their attention. It made me wonder if she has been the only child for too long.

The scenario concerned me because I could tell my daughter’s feelings were hurt and that it made her angry. At the same time, I had to wonder how did things really take place. I am sure my husband would say this is all my fault for always being right there and doing just what she wants. In his eyes, I always let her have her way. In my eyes, that is not the case. He does not like that I explain things to her. Since she was a baby, I have always told her my plan of action for the day or the moment ahead. If we were about to eat breakfast, take baths and head to grandma’s house, then I let her know just that. I let her know what was happening even if she could not understand it. As she got older, I just kept doing it out of habit plus I have a terrible memory and it’s my way of remembering what I am doing.

Then, there are times when she wants to do things and I have to tell her “no.” I never just say no. I remember my problem as a child and why I felt a lot of anger. I just wanted to know what was going on and why, but there was no explaining. You did what you did because mama said so or there would be repercussions, but that still left me in the dark… and angry.  Soooo…. when I tell my child there are certain things she cannot do, I let her know why. Sometimes I can tell her once or twice and she gets it and it’s done from there. Other times she just wants what she wants so badly that she will keep asking. I will even propose questions to her to make her think about what she is saying. This way, she comes to a conclusion herself and sees that I am right about why she should avoid said activity. My husband on the other hand despises that I talk to her. He does not get it. He says I am reasoning with a child, but it’s not about that at all. I let her know why she cannot and then I give her the choices that are within reason to choose from. Just that small thing of giving her a couple of choices makes her feel like her voice was heard, and that’s all I want.

One thing I know for sure… even after 6 years of this…. parenting is still tricky. I always wonder if I am doing the right thing for my daughter and worry how she will turn out. The main thing I always try to make sure of is that she is comfortable talking to me about any and every thing. I don’t want my way of discipline to be the reason for distance between us or to put a strain on our relationship.

Before I close, I thought I would share one of my recent scrapbook pages with a photo of my favorite girl and I. This is not my favorite photo of myself but it is one of the few that I have with Aida that I love… mostly because of the memory. This page was created using the newest collection, Creative Life, from Gina of Digital Design Essentials.

Thanks for visiting! Hope your day is going well!!

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